A time to review, and a time to renew.

No, those are not exactly the words used in Ecclesiastes, but the same idea though.  2011 is drawing nearer to a close, and 2012 lurks around the corner.  I haven't been able to look around that corner as much as I would like, as I have been sick the past few days (update = bronchitis. maybe. not a 100% diagnosis, but we'll see how these drugs work out). But I think God has done that purposefully.  I don't think He wants me to put expectations up; He wants me to just take the next step in faith, and trust Him for each and every step. Not path, not plan. Just step. That's all we really need anyway.  To ask for more is to diminish our need for faith in our forever faithful God.  I want this new year to renew my faith in a radical way.  Only God can do that. I can't make it happen; I'm asking for it, though.

So, what to do then? Obviously, I need to turn around for a few minutes and look back.  I just re-read through all my blogs from around this time last year.  It's crazy to see the things God stirred inside me, and how He did them. It wasn't perfect, of course not, I mean, I'm involved here too! Haha! But it was beautiful.  Christmas morning I pulled out my computer and bought all those Christmas gifts.  I also just am remember how much God prompted me to give to so many others throughout the year. It's really, really crazy.  I don't know many of those stories, but I know God made an impact. 

I WENT BACK! Genesis 28:15 was fulfilled. I know I haven't really blogged about that, but it was wonderful.  Please ask me. God did crazy awesome things. I'll give you a word: Affirmation. That was the theme of it all for me.

Tonight I will finish reading through the Bible (blog about that soon), and finish praying for the world, two things I'm going to continue on with this year.  I don't know what the former will look like, but I know it involves stories (!!) and it involves others. But like I said, I feel like I am entering 2012 without any kind of plan.  And I'm learning that that is OK! More than ok, because it definitely increases my need to just rely on our God. And that is what I want this year to be about. Relying on Him, giving it all to Him, following Him all the way, wherever and whatever that may look like.  

As much as I would LOVE to have a to-do list in my hand, I know that is not how God wants it right now. At all. There's just this feeling within me that says, "Hold on.  It's going to be a crazy ride!"  And I'm totally fine with that. Sure fear lurks like an unwanted pest, but I'm ready to fight it.  And victory is coming. Freedom is coming. Following is coming. I want it. I want HIM to blow me away.  Completely.  And He will. I can feel it! I trust Him.  Will you join with me? 

I'm renewing my commitment to be radical.  To outlive my life. To be His disciple. Period. Nothing more, nothing less. 

1 Thessalonians 5:24--"He who calls you is faithful, HE will surely do it."  Whatever "it" is, Lord, just have your way.

So I'll stop searching for the answers,
I'll stop praying for an escape,
and I'll trust you God,
with where I am,
just have your way,
just have your way.
("Have Your Way" by Britt Nicole)

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