katie rose writes

“The emotional pain from the last chapter was also something brewing for a couple of years. But I couldn’t put my finger on it. I didn’t know exactly what I was dealing with. I discerned that something wasn’t right, but discernment doesn’t always give details. Once the truth surfaced, the pain was so intense I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I had to do something about it. I needed God’s help. And God longs to help us. God longs to help me.” —pg 42, It’s not supposed to be this way by Lysa Terkeurst As I read and re-read this paragraph, tears pooled in my eyes as I reconciled the memory of India with the anxiety of yesterday, today, this week—   I’m so afraid of being disappointed again. Of being led to something that “doesn’t work out.” Of finding a trap-door underneath my feet, exactly where I think that I’m supposed to be standing. Honestly, I didn’t think that this was still haunting me. That the emotional pain of that season remains an undercurrent of my day-to...

“I was rounding the corner to the new year in every way. Promise had surfaced in my life. We’d had small circumstantial changes that had translated into fragile hope. But hope was hope. There were no gradations. I hadn’t this sort of quickening of spirit in years. Morning had broken. For a few days, at least... I wrapped my fingers tighter around hope. This will be another instance of seeing God’s goodness , I thought with the buoyancy of my new perspective. But how quickly we let ourselves feel cursed again. That night in the hospital, my age-old fear surfaced again like a stain. “Forever” beliefs dissipated into familiar thoughts: Of course. This is just how my life goes. Why should I expect it to be different? If I want something, it will always elude me.” —pg 84-85, Every Bitter Thing is Sweet by Sara Hagerty I feel this way, and I also fear this way.  The path of hope the Lord has set me on these past few months, the last months of 2018, has been filled with gli...

A year ago today, I wrote the following journal entry. While waiting. While hoping. While anxious. Truth covered my soul then & now, reading it again. I hope it does the same for you.  ❤️ My schedule is packed this week. My eyes are opening around 7 and struggling to keep up. My heart is, all-at-once, excited & utterly petrified over what is to come, in this season of transition, waiting, hiddenness that I don’t fully understand, because I feel so fully exposed—to what I could do, to what door God could open, to the type of work I could do in the waiting. So I’m finding a few moments to retreat, right here in the middle of Knoxville, in Starbucks, in between appointments. When I should be checking emails & nailing down plans, I’m slowing down. Instead of making sure I’ve got all the things together, I’m getting away. I’m hiding myself. Yesterday, I read Romans 4 as I waited. Waited at the doctor’s office. Waited in the car. Waited for an interview. Abraham ...